In this article, we are going to list out the best advice for long distance relationships, but before then, you should first understand the meaning of long distance relationship also known as the abbreviation LDR.
Long distance relationship or long distance love simply means when you are in love or in a relationship with someone you barely meet in person or have not met before.
Most of the time, the relationship started from social media and after getting to know each other and falling in love, you two keep getting along till the day you both meet in person. To others, they already started the relationship but something happened that made one of the lovers relocate or travel to a faraway country or State.
For some reason, it seems as if the love you both share is not leading anywhere because of the distance, coupled with the myth that long distance relationship doesn’t work out. I want you to know that long distance relationships can absolutely succeed, but I’m not saying it’s going to be easy.
Actually, the lack of body-to-body contact between you and your distant lover might be a problem, but this is the sweetest part of it all when you both finally meet and start feeling each other’s touch.
So to keep your love alive and burning while you are geographically separated from your lover, I’ll be giving you the best advice for long distance relationships that will make your LDR a successful one. After reading these tips, you two will keep getting along till the day you both meet in person and your loved one is finally by your side. So let us get into the list together.
1. See distance as a test of your love for each other.
There is a popular saying that once you think there is a problem, then there is a problem. With that being said, don’t see distance as a problem in your relationship but rather see it as a test to your love for each other. You know how you try to pass a test in your college days, see “Distance” as a test you need to pass at all cost.
Instead of believing that this long distance relationship is making your love for each other to fade away, you should believe that through this experience, the love you have for each other will grow even stronger.
2. Balance your communication
Communication balancing is one of our most serious advice for long distance relationships because we all know that communication means a lot in relationships. So you should learn how to communicate as much or as little with your faraway lover in a way it suits both of you.
Some partners enjoy having a lengthy conversation every day, while others don’t, due to their daily business schedules. So it is unwise to force lengthy conversation, otherwise, you both will exhaust yourselves. But at the same time try to communicate regularly, and be creative about it.
For instance, greeting each other “good morning” and “good night” every single day. And also, instead of calling your partner on the phone during the weekdays that you know he/she is busy, just drop a text message so that he or she will reply whenever free.
Discuss with your partner what works for both of you and how long you will spend talking or video chatting in a day or week. I advise having that lengthy phone call or video chatting during the weekends, it will help both of you concentrate at work during the weekdays. It also gives room for a lengthy conversation as you both discuss your past week and plan the next week together.
So it’s best to find out what works for both of you and be open to adapting to changes as life creates new and unexpected demands.
3. Always respond to your partner’s emotional calls
Emotional calls are both your attempt and your partner’s attempt to connect with one another and they show up in a variety of ways. According to psychologists, your relationship has much higher odds of long-term success if you always respond to your partner’s emotional calls.
Dr. John Gottman, foremost marriage researcher stated that happy couples give positive responses to 86% of each other emotional calls, while couples on the verge of divorce respond to only 33%.
The best emotional call advice for long distance relationships is for you to always be there for your distance lover even when you can’t actually be there. Although it could be difficult, because at the end of every emotional response, there is a tight hug that gives reassurance, which you can’t give in a distance relationship, but you can actually make a difference.
For instance, if your distance lover mentions that he or she is going to have a meeting with his senior colleagues, don’t forget to ask about the meeting the day after. The fact that you’re able to remember what your partner spoke about is one thing that will touch him or her.
Also, when you think an issue is not as important as your partner feels, hear them out and try to comfort him or her. If you were not there during those emotional calls, then he or she would, very likely, adopt an avoidant attachment style.
4. Show affection
Sexual desire is like gum that keeps couples from being apart. Yes, we all know that sex is a biological need, but sometimes, it can also be an emotional need. However, sexual desire does not always represent a need for affection, but it can be emotional evidence of love.
Giving your distance lover sexual tension is unarguably one of the most important ways to make your distance relationship work.
Understand your partner’s love language, send him/her sweet sexual-related text messages, and always kiss the screen whenever you guys are on a video call.
Some people go to the extent of going naked for their partner while on a video call, I don’t advise that but if it works for you, fine.
5. Hang Out Together even though you’re apart
It is possible to have fun together even if you’re geographically apart from each other. Thank God for technology which has made it easier for people to connect with each other without body-to-body contact.
With technology, you can play an online game together, watch home movies together by placing your video call camera towards the television. If you think that’s not cool, you can as well plan a movie night together via Skype where you watch the same movie, or watch the same YouTube video while talking on the phone.
You can also go outdoor hang out with your long distance partner. Just take a walk together while video-calling each other or go shopping together while on a video call. you can even go eating at the same chain restaurant (e.g McDonald’s) at the same time.
All of these little things you both do together can help you and your partner feel more connected. Liz Colizza, a marriage therapist stated that “having shared experiences with your long-distance partner increases the cohesion of your relationship.” When both of you do the same things together, you get to have more things in common to talk about during your videos calls.
6. Honesty is the foundation of long distance relationship
We all know the importance of honesty in a relationship, that is why we added it to our list of advice for long distance relationships. Honesty is the foundation of every relationship, especially long distance relationships.
You know that you both are not living closer in the same city, so being honest about the very little things will help build the trust your partner has in you. As a matter of fact, without trust, you cannot sustain your long distance relationship for a long period of time.
Being honest plays an important role in making your relationship a successful one. It involves a few key practices that seem hard in certain circumstances, but you can do it. The key points to honesty include; never lying, never hiding the truth, and never purposefully misdirecting people from the truth.
7. Don’t compare your partner or relationship with others
Another thing that usually brings problems in a long distance relationship is comparing your partner with your friends’ partners, especially if your friends are not in long distance relationship like you. There is an ancient phrase that goes “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This phrase has been around for many years and has been there for good reason.
Comparison brings about finding faults and trying to change your partner. When you try so hard to change who does not want to be changed, it usually brings a lot of problems in a relationship. Your partner is not your friend’s husband or wife, they all have their unique set of mind, character, and beliefs.
When you start comparing your partner with others, It will make you feel bitter and it will eventually lead to a disastrous relationship. So my advice for long distance relationships of this kind is for you to stop comparing your partner or relationship with others at all, and accept your partner for who she/he really is.
8. Trust your partner and be confident in the relationship
Trust is the major key to a successful relationship and it reduces insecurity on your part. Psychologists, Lee and Rudolph, stated that insecurity can result in one partner always checking in on the other partner. This kind of uncertainty might lead to making too many phone calls and sending too many text messages for the wrong reasons, leading to unnecessary distraction and turn off.
Constantly asking your partner “where are you” or “what are you doing” is a turn-off for many people, especially when it sounds as if you are checking in on them. But when you have trust in your partner and confidence in your relationship, then your long distance relationship will be a successful one.
9. Be positive even if It’s getting difficult
Distance relationships can be so difficult especially longer ones. Of course, the waiting can be painful and you sometimes feel lonely. Sometimes, you also feel like dropping out of school, quitting your job, or anything that is holding you back, so you can travel to be with the one you love forever. But then, you need to always remind yourself of the reasons you both are apart from each other.
The reasons might be because you or your partner need to get a college degree in a faraway country, you or your partner received a lifetime job opportunity, or as a result of the family situation. Don’t let past months or years that you both have already spent in the Long distance relationship be a waste out of impatience.
Whatever the reason might be, remember there are things that need to be accomplished before the timing is right for both of you to be together again. One good tip to always stay positive is to be grateful all the time. You should be thankful that you have someone who loves you and you love as well.
10. Always Tell your partner What you love about him or her
Inferiority is a norm in a Long distance relationship, but always telling your partner what you love about him or her makes them feel valued. Take pride in your partner, treasure them for loving you with statements like “Being part of my life has added extraordinary happiness and stability to my life, sweetheart.”
Not only that, always remind your partner what you love about your relationship with him or her because frequent assurance clears the doubt of where you stand in the relationship. For instance “You are the only part of my life that I can never be able to replace, and I hope that the love that we both share will continue for the rest of our lives.”
If you want your Long Distance relationship to work out, don’t forget to always text your partner “I miss you”. Telling your distance lover how much you miss them every single day makes them feel needed, wanted, and appreciated.
Also, remember to admire your partners’ looks by telling them things like “you’re so handsome/hot/beautiful, etc”.
11. Gift each other personal objects for mementos
There is power in memento when it comes to long distance relationships. Always having your partner’s personal object to hold on to is a feeling that provides a direct connection to your loved one.
For instance, you can gift your partner your personal pendant, a ring, a watch, necklace and other stuff you think he or she can hold onto. You should as well receive gifts from your partner for the same purpose.
As human beings, we often attach meaning to the little things and we try to store memories in physical things so that when our minds fail us, we hold onto something so dear to us to help us remember.
Having a personal object of your partner as a memento will always remind you that you are already taken, even when you get attracted to someone else.
12. Treat each other like it started just today
It’s very easy to get bored in a long distance relationship, but when you treat each other like it all started today, the fire to be with one another will keep burning till the end of time.
The reason a lot of couples stopped loving their partners is that they stopped treating each other with the same amount of respect, attraction, and affection as they used to during the time they first met. Treating your lover with the same level of affection as the beginning days of your relationship is another important piece of advice for long distance relationships
13. Master the Schedules of your partner
When you understand your partner’s schedules, it makes it easier for you to know when they’re busy and when they are free. This will help you know the right time to make phone calls and the right time to send text messages.
For instance, if it’s the time your partner is busy at work and you want to have an urgent conversation, it is advisable to send text messages so that he or she will reply in their leisure time. Calling your partner’s phone in the middle of a business meeting or lecture hall is not cool and sometimes it’s a turn-off.
Apart from his schedules, Also know the big events that are or will be happening in your partner’s life especially if you have a different time zone with your partner. For instance, know when your partner is in college mid-terms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews, and many other big events. This will also help you know when to call your partner and what to say for them to know you are part of their life.
14. Give each other pet names
Giving your partner a sweet nickname is so adorable. The idea of being called “babe” or “sweetheart” makes some people feel affectionate. A lot of partners are so used to calling them by their pet names that when their partner calls them by their real name, they feel something serious must have happened.
A new study discovered that partners who use pet names for each other are more likely to be satisfied in their relationship. As a matter of fact, the study stated that 90% of Americans who use pet names like beautiful, gorgeous, and honey for their partners are happy in their relationship, compared to just 56% of partners who don’t use pet names at all. This is not just advice for long distance relationships but advice for all kinds of relationships.
15. Try to connect with your partner’s family
If your intention is for a long-term relationship that will eventually lead to marriage, or you are already married to your long distance partner, then our advice for long distance relationships of your kind is to connect with your partner’s family.
Connecting with your partner’s family will make him or her know that you are into the whole of him/her, like the saying goes “family is everything”.
If you don’t know how to connect with your partner’s family, I have a tip for you. All you need to do is to always offer help, and they’ll welcome you right in with trust. It works for all human beings in general, to get along with anyone and be accepted, you have to always offer help.
With that being said, try rendering help to your partner’s family not just for them to accept you but also because you want to help out as a family.
16. Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries and rules for yourself to follow in order to make your long distance relationship work out is a nice step. You should always remember not to do what you wouldn’t like your partner to do to you, Even as you both are apart, respect the boundaries.
Research suggests that you should always stay away from any situation that will cause your partner to be uncomfortable or threatened. For instance, you should know the kind of things you post on social media and the kind of opposite friends you keep. All these little expectations really make a difference in long distance relationships.
17. Have some ‘me time’ and enjoy it as well
The fact that you are alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your distant lover or rely on your partner for all of your happiness.
Take the time you are alone to do other things, spend more time with your family and your partner’s family if you’re not the busy type. Get a new hobby; go to the gym and lose some weight if you have any. Hang out with your friends and colleagues, there is a lot of things you can do that do not revolve around your partner.
18. Be Open to your Partner
As humans, we are not perfect and nobody is perfect. Sometimes we have our shortcomings like insecurity, feelings of fear, jealousy, apathy, or whatsoever thing we’re going through inside. It is advisable to open up to your partner about those feeling, you never can tell, it will only take a little adjustment to your partner’s lifestyle to solve the problem.
If you fail to open up to your partner about your feeling, it gonna eat you up, resulting in you doing things that will destroy your relationship. It’s better to look at the problem during its beginning stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.
If you are feeling insecure and jealous, which are the most dangerous of it all, open up to your partner. In fact, insecurity and jealousy are some of the biggest reasons, relationships end today. They are feelings that are only controlled by the things we see or hear and how our brain processes them. So it will only take a little adjustment to your partner’s lifestyle and trust from your end to solve these problems.
19. Respect your partner’s Like and Dislike
There are some things you know your partner likes and don’t like. For your long distance relationship to work out, you have to try to respect them all. If you fail to respect them, then he or she would, very likely, adopt an avoidant attachment style.
For instance, If you already know that your partner doesn’t like it when you go to the club or go drinking with your friends late at night, then you should either not do it, or take permission from your partner beforehand so as to reassure him or her.
It can be difficult if you are the “Love me the way I am” type of person. But then, there should be an understanding between you and your partner. Don’t make him or her feel worried or suspicious about you, because it’s going to be a dangerous situation in your long distance relationship.
20. Be open to compromises.
Compromise is vital in any relationship as misunderstanding always occurs in every relationship, but what makes the difference is how you handle it. Don’t always try to be right when you have a disagreement with your partner, because The first problem with fights is that everyone involved wants to be right.
Another thing is to always learn to let go. For your long distance relationship to really work out, you have to let go of your partner’s wrongdoing, so that it will not eat you up. This is not just advice for long distance relationships but advice for all kinds of relationships.
The more you hold on to your partner’s wrongdoings, the bitter you become, and the more toxic your relationship will be. Be patient and be forgiving even before your partner apologize
21. Keep the romance alive. Surprise your partner once in a while.
22. Don’t ever take your partner for granted.
23. Don’t always take it out on your partner when things go wrong.
24. For any major decision you want to take, consult your partner and explain your stance.
25. When the time is right, celebrate your distance relationship after you are finally together with your partner in the end.
Thanks for having time to read my advice for long distance relationships to the end, I have a question for you in the comment. What is the situation of your long distance relationship, and what do you want to improve?